Lost soul 

 

She was 16 when she gave her body to another,
she was young I mean she was clueless but they were “all doing it”, it was “cool” it was the “norm”

what’s wrong with it?

She became attached to this one minute pleasure, she became obsessed with another man’s touch and sometimes women 

she did it all. 

She never stopped and thought about what she was giving up, but everytime she gave it up a piece of her was gone. Something so precious something so special. 

Years went by she grew up, she had a little bit more of freedom, a little bit more of awareness of her soul. 

She met this guy he was so fine, he was the one she couldn’t wait to bone,

I mean she was dreaming about this she didn’t just want a quickie but she wanted eternity. He treated her right he took he out, he opened her door, she thought the world of him that was her prince 

until one night he took her back to his place 

mum and dad where gone 

 “no rushing”

“take it slow”

“i got you”

Meanwhile he had plenty girls giving it up to him but he loved hurting girls, he loved seeing them tear apart whilst he goes off to chase another one.

She was clueless but she thought she was happy, 

she does it again

something that’s become so easy for her

she placed her vulnerable side in his hands

he took it, he used it, he gave it back. 

At the end of the night and at the end of his nut he acted like he had no feelings 

no emotions 

“who are you?”

she was nothing to him

he took her ,used her, replaced her. 

Something so vulnerable something so special got her asking herself “why did i just let him fuck me?”

“why did i just let him have me?”

when all she really wanted was affection someone who connected with her on a deeper level someone who could touch her without physically touching her. 

I mean humans crave to be loved,

she gave herself to them and they gave it right back after having a “bit” of fun with it. 

I mean she only wanted nice massages with nice long talks, hot chocolate with marshmallow kisses whilst he caresses her hair whilst listening to love songs wouldn’t that be perfect? 

She then questioned herself 

she had the loving that they liked but what was it about her that they didn’t want to wife?

She is a queen,

Isn’t she smart enough? 

isn’t she beautiful enough?

isn’t she worthy enough? 

they hit her back with that “oh baby I’m just not the relationship type” but then they turn around just to go wife a next chick, isn’t that some shit? 

“why did i let him just fuck me?” 

At night she cries,

she cries because she’s been consumed all she craves for is for him to love her tomorrow, today, forever for someone to build her back up. 

She never realised that only she could love herself and giving herself away to receive love wouldn’t work. 

A lot of people give themselves away to receive love but don’t fully understand the concept of loving themselves is deeper than it sounds. 

You have to be able to give yourself love in order to accept it from anyone else, 

never give away a part of you unless you fully love yourself if not you’ll end up giving yourself away expecting temporary love knowing it’s not going to last. 


– Rica 

3 thoughts on “Lost soul 

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