My last goodbyes

When I die don’t come to my funeral

same fake shit

the usual

fake tears just to prove something

but they don’t know you couldn’t stand me.

 

I was alive and didn’t feel the love

now I’m gone and can’t feel the love

gave so much of my soul away I wonder if I’m soulless

or damaged from all the scaring,

the wounds,

the pain

healing every now and again was torture to my being

but you wouldn’t know that because pride got the best of me.

 

I’d rather face my demons alone

it’s hurting me not you so let me feel this all the way through

it might stop,

it might not.

Pain has become my comfort

I let it travel through me

just so I can hear my heart beat faster and faster and faster till it gives up on me,

my mind thinks too much

and my heart lets me live

my mind doesn’t want this

but my heart is so eager to keep the blood pumping.

 

I don’t want to wake up

but it’s inevitable,

I sigh when I see the light

another day in fake hell

low frequency, low energy

it’s all catching up to me.

 

When I die please don’t cry for me

we had all the time in the world we just didn’t know when it’ll all come to an end.

The voices in my head are the enemy,

the enemy is inside of me

the voices in my head are part of me.

-Rica.

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