It could all be so simple

DB184AD7-DAA6-4E53-AB29-E7BD84625312

 

Been stuck in this depressive state for far too long

If u could see what was in my head you’d run for the hills

it isn’t just a phase I’m stuck;

I look at everybody else handling their problems well 

comparison is the biggest thief of my joy.

 

I stop and think maybe I should get a consellor 

or maybe I just need a long hug. 

Can’t find anyone to tell how my mind has tricked me once again to see the worst in me 

all of a sudden I’m no good and don’t belong,

instead of taking the easy way out I took the ladder and took a step further. 

 

Maybe I should get myself a counsellor 

or maybe I just need some love around me. 

I find myself reminiscing of the good times whilst I cry about all the if’s and maybe’s that may or may not occur,

I’m high on my own thoughts and no detox seems to get rid of them all. 

 

They tell me it’ll get easier 

but it’s not a phase I’m stuck I feel alone at every turn 

I try to remind myself that someone out there cares 

but my mind convinces me everyone hates me 

What’s real ? What’s made up?  

I can’t seem to differentiate the two anymore,

my anxiety hugs me tight at night till I cry all my worries out 

now I’m empty so I feel useless. 

 

Maybe I should get myself a consellor 

or maybe I should just let my thoughts wonder in the open. 

I open myself up, convince everyone that I’m showing it all but it’s way deeper than what I could show u 

bigger than the galaxy we reside in it’ll take centuries to find. 

 

I wish I could have a blank slate 

a new beginning 

a new everything 

but nobody is perfect so is this my blessing and a curse wrapped up in one? 

 

I need u to tell me it’ll get easier 

because I can’t be the only one with depression, 

I can’t be the only one with these repetitive questions 

When will the chaos stop ? 

When will the voices in my head stop the lies ? 

 

I know two things for certain 

I’m still learning to navigate my mind, there’s so much to explore 

and what I see isn’t the full picture there’s a bigger picture to it all. 

 

-Rica. 

One thought on “It could all be so simple

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.