Empty

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I’m done in my mind
but my body carries me through
lets me see the deepest scars in me.

I’m done in my mind
but my body still resides,
still resides on earth
always wanting to dispatch myself into another galaxy.

I’ve never had it all together
been broken way too many times
where do I begin?

I don’t put on a facade
I lay it bare
let my skin speak for itself,
those scars didn’t come from an unfortunate minor accident
I did that
not proud
but a small part of me enjoyed the pain
the pain made me feel whole again.

Now my tattoo grabs the attention first
I hate being asked questions
I wish I could tell you why I hate myself so much to resort to such
but you wouldn’t understand, the simple man would label me crazy
but the one who goes deeper sees the pain that comes with the scars.

I’m an anomaly in the purest form
I don’t get me either
I want it all to be so simple
I make it hard for myself
I don’t like to pity myself
the blame game has been played too many times.

Don’t cry for me
don’t feel sad for me
just smile for me
let me know the world still holds happiness
and that the gloominess inside of me isn’t all that there is to see.

-Rica.

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