I could be gone tomorrow

I don’t know yet

maybe the courage I’ve been building will reach a new high.

 

I’m paranoid, I act like I don’t know why

yet is the drugs and the alcohol all of it

got me burning inside

Is no good for me

but it makes it easier for me,

It’s a hard pill to swallow

but if I’m still here tomorrow it will feel like hell on earth instead of heaven on earth.

 

I got my priorities wrong

I know,

there’s a difference between ignorance and willingly forgetting

I know what I need

It’s all my decision

my mind has field days when I feel low.

 

The hardest pill to swallow is that karma doesn’t care who gets hit

like a bad check it bounces back

feels like I’m the only target,

fighting all my demons and my bad karma I always feel like someone is out to get me

 

I pray:

 

“God forgive me I’m a sinner”

 

Seen so many things

done so many things

 

Who am I?

 

If I can’t be on a straight and narrow

where am I really heading to?

 

No one really gets me but my bestfriend

but I’m so proud of where I dragged myself from,

the pits of hell

that’s what it felt like I was.

 

I’m just a nobody

trying to feel like a somebody,

I let my brain consume me

and my peers indulge me

sweet little nothings got the best of me.

 

-Rica.